waterproof goldstar - sock monkeys find out they have to pay taxes and have no fun (2026)
A noisy and emotionally vulnerable collection of shoegaze and lo-fi indie rock, combining heavily distorted guitars, layered vocals and intimate songwriting with a particularly strange sense of humour. On sock monkeys find out they have to pay taxes and have no fun, Utah-based waterproof goldstar explores romantic disappointment, loneliness and emotional dependence through eleven compositions whose absurd titles frequently contrast with considerably more serious lyrical themes. I appreciate the sincerity of the writing, the occasionally immersive guitar arrangements and the distinctive personality. However, the excessive distortion, relatively limited melodic development and uneven songwriting make the album less rewarding than its emotional intentions suggest. A good but rather inconsistent underground release whose raw character is both its principal attraction and its most obvious limitation.
The contrast between the album's presentation and its emotional content is probably its most interesting quality. Titles such as "you're a good friend to a reasonably sized lobster" and "shut up onion boy, the onion MEN are talking" suggest a deliberately ridiculous project, but the lyrics explore recognisable feelings of affection, rejection and insecurity. I appreciate this combination because it gives the music an unusual identity without entirely undermining its sincerity. Nevertheless, the humour occasionally feels like a distraction from relatively conventional emotional themes, and the unusual presentation doesn't necessarily make the songwriting more distinctive.
Musically, waterproof goldstar operates between contemporary shoegaze, noise pop and the rougher side of indie rock. The arrangements concentrate on distorted guitars, dense percussion and multiple vocal layers, creating an atmosphere that is occasionally immersive but frequently overwhelming. I appreciate the emotional intensity, particularly when the instrumental textures reinforce the vulnerability of the lyrics. However, the production often lacks sufficient clarity, and the constant saturation makes several compositions difficult to distinguish.
The opening "you're a good friend to a reasonably sized lobster" establishes the album's peculiar character through affectionate lyrics and an intentionally unpolished musical approach. I appreciate its directness, although the melody doesn't leave a particularly lasting impression. "she's the bone to the bones of the bag" is more convincing, combining unusual imagery with relatively accessible songwriting. Its mixture of humour and emotional sincerity gives the composition a recognisable personality, even if the arrangement remains fairly conventional within contemporary shoegaze.
"well, i'm old enough. where's the life i dreamed of?" introduces disappointment with adulthood, while "we thought we fed ourselves a nutritious meal, but delusion has no calories" explores uncertainty within romantic relationships. Both contain appealing lyrical observations, but I don't find the musical structures particularly memorable. The songs frequently rely on repeated guitar patterns and emotionally exposed vocals without developing towards convincing conclusions.
The longer compositions introduce additional ambition but also reveal some weaknesses. "even the troopers are wondering what is going on in alberta" explores emotional exhaustion and separation across more than six minutes. I appreciate the attempt to develop a more expansive atmosphere, although the instrumental repetition occasionally becomes excessive. "does fear freeze at the temperature of water or do we forget we have either?" continues the melancholic perspective, concentrating on loss and personal uncertainty. Both pieces possess emotional sincerity, but the extended arrangements don't consistently provide enough melodic or rhythmic variation to justify their duration.
"she's the bone to the bones of the bag" remains my favourite track because its combination of affectionate observations, unusual humour and relatively focused songwriting represents the album's strongest qualities. I particularly appreciate the more direct emotional approach, which allows the lyrical personality to emerge without depending entirely on instrumental saturation. It demonstrates that waterproof goldstar can create appealing music when the arrangements remain relatively restrained and the melodies receive sufficient attention.
The closing "zzchopsgems.jpeg are pale and fake" introduces a more personal and reflective atmosphere, incorporating a spoken poem contributed by Ellis. I appreciate the intimate character, although the extended structure feels somewhat unnecessary. The arrangement appears more concerned with establishing a particular emotional environment than developing a memorable musical conclusion. The album ends with sincerity, but not with the sense of resolution or musical impact I would have preferred.
My main reservation concerns the songwriting. Waterproof goldstar clearly possesses an individual personality, but several compositions rely on familiar shoegaze techniques without establishing particularly memorable melodic ideas. The dense guitars and layered vocals frequently become the principal attraction, while the underlying songs remain relatively ordinary. I generally appreciate noisy alternative rock when the distortion reinforces strong melodies or meaningful emotional development. Here, the production occasionally seems to compensate for the lack of distinctive songwriting.
The vocal performances are another mixed element. Their deliberately unpolished delivery contributes to the album's intimacy, but the excessive layering occasionally reduces the clarity of the melodies and lyrics. I appreciate the vulnerability, although greater restraint might have produced a stronger emotional connection. Some compositions seem to confuse rawness with intensity, when a clearer arrangement could have communicated the same feelings more effectively.
The album also suffers from relatively limited dynamic variation. Most compositions occupy a similar sonic environment, relying on saturated guitars, repetitive rhythms and melancholic vocal arrangements. This creates coherence, but it also makes the complete listening experience somewhat monotonous. At almost forty-five minutes, I would have preferred stronger contrasts between the more aggressive passages and the quieter material, particularly because the emotional themes already explore a relatively narrow territory.
Nevertheless, sock monkeys find out they have to pay taxes and have no fun contains worthwhile moments. The strange humour gives the album a recognisable personality, the lyrics occasionally communicate genuine vulnerability, and the distorted arrangements sometimes create an appealing atmosphere. I particularly appreciate the more focused compositions, where the balance between emotional sincerity and melodic clarity becomes more convincing.
Ultimately, this is a good but rather unremarkable shoegaze and lo-fi indie rock album. Its raw emotional character, eccentric presentation and occasional immersive guitar passages provide some enjoyment, but the excessive saturation, repetitive arrangements and limited melodic memorability prevent it from becoming particularly rewarding. I appreciate waterproof goldstar's willingness to express personal feelings without excessive polish, although I would have preferred stronger individual compositions, greater dynamic contrast and more disciplined production. There is genuine personality and some appealing musical material here, but relatively little that distinguishes the complete album from numerous similar underground shoegaze releases.
65/100
Playing time: 00:44:40
❤️ Favourite track: "she's the bone to the bones of the bag"
✚ Distinctive combination of absurd humour and sincere reflections on romantic vulnerability, loneliness and emotional uncertainty
✚ Occasionally immersive shoegaze arrangements, combining distorted guitars, layered vocals and raw instrumental intensity
✚ A few appealing compositions, particularly "she's the bone to the bones of the bag" and "you're a good friend to a reasonably sized lobster"
– Excessively saturated production and dense vocal layering frequently reduce melodic clarity and emotional impact
– Repetitive arrangements and relatively limited songwriting development make several compositions difficult to distinguish
– Uneven melodic memorability and insufficient dynamic contrast reduce the album's coherence and long-term replay value
Genre: Shoegaze
Country: US
Final Verdict: 65% (Good Album)
Yearly Ranking: 321th / 838
Highlight: she's the bone to the bones of the bag
Made me think of:
Weatherday
Parannoul
Jane Remover
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